Fiscally nuts. Socially insane.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Don't Stop Campaigning

A Washington Post editorial - Don't Stop Campaigning. Either ignorant or conservative, I don't know which. And now for my own version of Don't Stop Campaigning:

Mrs. Clinton, please don't stop campaigning. You are a well-qualified, politically savvy asshole. Yes, indeed, you are more qualified than your opponent. And your desire to remove democracy from a democracy for your own benefit in state races that have already occurred is, well, enlightening. You dazzle us with your fantastic ability to piss off your entire party, the one who used to look up to you, love you. Hug you. Kiss you... oh, wait, that was only Nancy Pelosi. But hug you, they did. And you were their leader. You were respected. So who better to run this country than you? But you really didn't think a political campaign could tire you, hurt you, age you. Thanks to Botox, the latter was true. No, the campaign only cost you the respect of your party, but who needs them anyway? Do you really need Howard Dean, or Ted Kennedy, or Chris Dodd, or John Kerry, or Russ Feingold, or Tom Daschle, or Bob Gee, or Ted Sorensen? No, you don't. You are doing a fine job slaughtering your reputation on your own, thank you very much.

You are such a wonderful person. Even if you didn't run through Bosnia under sniper fire, at least you had the nuts to make up a pretty cool camp fire story, right? And your wonderful ability to paste together words to make a ridiculously impossible story parallels that of the lovely Michael Moore.
I guess what it comes down to, Hillary, is that we over here really love you. We enjoy your biological warfare against your own that will, hopefully, make the whole country red. We love the infighting that would stop if you simply muttered the two terrible words, "I quit." We love when you make our objectively mediocre candidate look like God himself.

So Hillary Clinton, please don't stop campaigning.

1 comment:

Charter member said...

I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or Ill lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down

The nature of HER game? Win at all costs, regardless of the consequences for party or country.

And as the last line listed above states, she really does mean it.