Fiscally nuts. Socially insane.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Holy Toledo

I wasn't around yesterday, so I only just heard about Finkbeiner's stupid move.

On that topic:

The Top 10 Reasons Why the Mayor Doesn't Want Marines in Toledo:

1. Code Pink conference call already postponed twice -- doesn't want to "dis" them again

2. ACLU might sue for failure to allow Communist Party Parade the same weekend

3. His dog doesn't like noises louder than 10 decibels unless it's the sound of his limo picking him up for a Sunday drive to City Hall

4. Joined at the hip to Berkeley, CA and afraid operation to be surgically removed will be too risky

5. Doesn't want to see Hillary Clinton crying in public again

6. Afraid he'll be taken off of the Air America "Le Prime Guest Speaker" list

7. Doesn't want to offend local sleeper cells

8. Doesn't want the word "urban" rhymes with "turban" which might possibly have the potential to offend Al Qaeda

9. Al Jazeera unable to get camera crew to Toledo in time to grab footage then use it in a misleading way to bash America

10. Doesn't want the hassle of having to walk half a block for a cup of coffee when a Humvee is parked in the handicapped spot in front of Starbucks

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